I have a lot of doubts. I also have a lot of faith. Contradictory but truthful.
I could say that the time we have is never enough, no matter it’s length, or that time shared with friends is too few and far between. Instead I will say how incredibly grateful I am for every minute I am in the presence of friendship; how blessed I feel to share a laughter that makes my heart feel it may burst; how lucky I feel that I have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.
Sure, if I could do it all over again there are quite a few things I might do differently. But who is to say I would prefer the end result? No one can tell me that the overall journey and final destination would truly be all that different. There is no one decision or action done differently that alters our entire life. Life is a series of thousands of tiny miracles and often brutal mishaps that are best accepted as they come. Plus, guess what? As far as we know, we don’t get to do it all over again; no one has made us the promise of a redo. So, I am learning. I am learning to take it all in; to give the tiny miracles a home in my heart and the mishaps a small place in my memory, a place where they only serve to move me forward as a girl who is a little smarter than before. I am learning to stop thinking about what I might do differently if I had the chance and start realizing that the only chances I have are here and now to try again. Not chances to do over but to just do. I am learning to just do and be content moving forward whether the result is a mishap or a miracle.